Laying Down the Armor

Softening when you have allowed life to make you hard is a journey within itself. It takes awareness, mindfulness, and courage. But most of all it takes love and forgiveness; compassion.

Trauma has a way of changing a person at their core. It's like a parasite that depletes the nutrients within its host; in this case, your happiness, joy, and sense of safety, to say the least. Our bodies adapt, our brain takes over, our nervous system reacts, and we can become stuck in this repetitive space anytime we feel there is a threat. It's exhausting and unwanted. And, just as our brain, nervous system, and body adapted to the trauma we can hopefully, adapt again and heal.

My Story of laying down my armor and sheathing my sword has been a journey. I won't go into details about my trauma here because it is mine, I do not it want to trigger anyone, and I am working on releasing the power it has over me by not talking about it in depth anymore. I have carried this weight with me for far too long and I am choosing to let it go, thank it for the lessons, and move on. I am choosing to forgive so that I can free myself and live a healthier and happier life. And it is not that simple either. I still have triggers, and emotions that surface from time to time and I ride the waves and use my tools. The forgiveness piece is a daily surrender for now. It has become easier with lots of patience. Forgiveness is not only for other people but more so for myself. I have to tell myself often, "I did the best I could with the tools I had at that time", "I am grateful for the lessons", and "I am safe and protected."

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

~Paul Boese

I have built a self-care toolbox with tools that work for me. One of those tools is writing. Writing helps me create space and learn about myself. Writing allows my brain to realize that I am the narrator and I am safe now. (Insert Research)

Every human is unique and will have to build their self-care toolbox to fit their own needs. Here are some practices and teachers that have been beneficial to my healing:

~Professional Therapy

Finding the right therapist is an important part of the healing process. Research, interview them

and ask questions, know what theoretical framework or approach works for you. Examples:

(Theoretical framework examples, Internal Family Systems, Person-Centered, Humanistic

Psychology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Group Therapy, and so on...)

~Creative Expression

Letting go of protectionism and creating from my heart.

The possibilities are endless when you are free to express yourself.

~Nature

Mother Nature is the true mother and the elements (earth, air, fire, water) are great ways to

release what no longer serves us.

~Music~Dancing~Singing

~Tapping

Research shows tapping can help reduce stress, anxiety, regulate your nervous system, and

negative emotions. I follow Brad Yates on YouTube.

~Exercise

For me, I lift 3 days a week and do cardio daily. Find a gym that fits your needs, there are

options out there that are not costly. Or work out from home; there are at-home workouts for

free on YouTube. (Check with your doctor if you have any serious conditions).

~Meditation

There are many forms of meditation, so do not be intimidated, you have to start somewhere.

It is called a practice. Be patient, start with a 3-5 minute guided meditation, and maybe that

is where you stay. No judgment. I adore Sarah Blondin and use Insight Timer. You can also

try walking meditation, or simply lay in the grass, watch the clouds, and breathe.

~Pixie Lighthorse

She has many books of prayers, honoring our light and shadow.

~Danielle LaPorte

Her new book, How to Be Loving brings us back to love and checks your ego.

~Oracle & Tarot

These insights give us food for thought and guidance for personal growth.

~Ceremony & Ritual

Finding the sacredness life has to offer in every breathe, through every tear, the movement of

your body, the sun warming your skin, the bird flying in the beautiful blue sky. Make life a

ceremony and ritual faith every step and breathe you take. Light a candle. Give reverence to

yourself and the Divine.

As you read this I hope you will find inspiration and tools for your self-care journey. I may have wisdom to offer, and you do too. Tap into it, trust yourself, have patience, love, and compassion for you and everyone else. We are all connected after all. I believe we are all doing the best we can. And if we are not, we can change, learn, and do better. When we lay down the armor and sheath the sword we can invite love back in and look for the sacredness that life has to offer. We can surrender because we were never in control. Allowing grace to flow.

GRACE holds possibility and danger.

GRACE knows that it could go either way.

GRACE stands at the edge of the Void and declares that a change is going to come.

~Danielle LaPorte